Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Randomize
