Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize