...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
