just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
