maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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