Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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