what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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