My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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