I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
