i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
