And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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