we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
