Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
