we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
