I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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