dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
