normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My balls are so social today.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
