OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize