ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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