She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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