So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
