Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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