? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
