Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
