The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I would fuck him just for his dog
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
