did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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