I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
