Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
