I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
