dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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