Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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