i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
