There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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