woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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