My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
