DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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