I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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