I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
