I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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