What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
