I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
