Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
