We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
