so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
