I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
