Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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