I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
