Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
