Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is my gift to your gina
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
