Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
