After last night, I could never be a politician.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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