You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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