I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Welp...herpes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize