totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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