At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
