remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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