dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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