Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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