You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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