your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
