Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
