i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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