I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
